


Imperfect

by Whirlwind



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Handon, Heart-to-Heart, Insecurity, Self-Esteem Issues, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whirlwind/pseuds/Whirlwind
Summary: Just as things are heating up between her and Landon, Hope’s insecurities get the better of her. But maybe she’s not the only one who feels uncomfortable in their own skin at times.
Relationships: Landon Kirby/Hope Mikaelson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Imperfect

What had started out as a study session between Hope and Landon for an upcoming exam, soon evolves into a fairly intense make out session. From their it only continues to escalate, and Hope finds herself fully caught up in the moment with him. But when Landon’s hands reach for the hem of her shirt to begin pulling it up, exposing skin in the process, it snaps Hope out of her passioned state, as a sense of panic runs through her. An incident that happened earlier in the day flashes behind her eyes, causing her to freeze up as she recalls it.

She’d been walking down the hallway heading to class when she’d overheard it. Someone making a crack about her weight. The cruel whispers, the immature snickering. She’d heard it before. It was by no means new. Years of hearing it had caused her to develop a thick skin about it.

It had taken some time, but the truth was, she actually liked her body the way it was. Curves and all. Unfortunately, not everyone else seemed to feel the same. They often felt the need to convince her she should be ashamed of it. Made her feel as if something was wrong with her. She knew better by now that they were wrong of course. But every now and then, it plants a stubborn little seed of doubt in her head that feeds on her insecurities, much like the Qareen had. This happens to be one of those times, especially as things are heating up between her and Landon.

She knew that Landon loved her, but what if he didn’t like what he saw? How she looked in clothes vs out of them were two _very_ different things. Would he notice the faint stretch marks on her hips from when she grew into her body during puberty? Would it repulse him? Or the fact that she might be softer in places than some of the other girls here might be? Would he be disappointed she didn’t have a body more like Josie’s?

As much as she wanted to take things further with him, she just... she couldn’t right now.

“Landon, wait!” Hope calls out frantically, startling the boy and causing him to immediately stop. He stares at her, wide eyed and nervous.

“Sorry! Did I misread the situation? I misread the situation.” Landon begins to quickly pull back, feeling terribly guilty about the whole thing, but Hope grabs his wrists to stop him.

"No, no. You didn’t. It’s just that...”

Hope nervously bites at her lip, hesitating whether or not to tell him.

“It’s stupid.” She murmurs, pulling her knees up to her chest and covering up her face, feeling embarrassed for even starting to bring this up.

Landon inches closer, but still offers her space. “Hey, talk to me. What's wrong?”

The concern in his eyes is so strong that she almost feels guilty for worrying him so much. She can feel her own eyes starting to tear a little, which only makes her feel even more ridiculous. She fights terrifying monsters straight out of nightmares on a weekly basis, so why was something as simple as this so scary?

The thought of his possible rejection cut her like a knife. She'd never been this open and vulnerable with someone before, so every little perceived flaw on her body suddenly felt magnified tenfold. There was no hiding behind cool indifference and snarky comebacks here.

"I'm not a stick figure!" She blurts out hastily, thoroughly confusing Landon with the statement.

“Someone... made a joke my weight.” Hope begins to explain, her tone gradually becoming clipped as she continues on. "About how I have more meat on my bones." God, she hates that phrase. It makes her feel like she's livestock on a farm or something.

“It isn’t the first time it’s happened, and it certainly won’t be the last. And it’s not like I even care what those jerks think, but...” Her voice drops off, the short burst of bitterness dissipating swiftly as her lip trembles.

"I worried that maybe... Maybe you thought the same thing."

Hope hesitantly lets her eyes drift up to meet his green ones, and the look of sheer surprise on his face doesn't make her feel any better.

“See? Told you it was dumb.” She mumbles, turning away from him, wrapping her arms tighter around herself in some semblance of protection against the slings and arrows of her own mind.

"Hope..." He places his hand on the side of her cheek and gently turns her face to look at him, letting his thumb wipe away a stray tear that had slipped out. She sniffles, eyes cast downward. She feels so girlish and silly, and wants nothing more than to run for the hills. What must he think of her right now?

"It is not dumb. How you _feel_ is never dumb." Landon assures her. "People aren't cookie cutters, we don't all look the same. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's a _good_ thing."

Hope gives him a weak half smile in agreement.

"I could sit here and tell you that you're beautiful, which you totally are by the way, in case you didn't know." He points out with a beaming grin and an eyebrow wiggle, causing Hope to exhale a breathy laugh and shake her head.

"But what I think I really want you to hear is that I love you. All of you. For everything that you are and everything that you aren't. I'll love you as we look right now, and as we'll look as old raisin people. Hope Mikaelson, you continue to amaze me over and over again, every single day. And I don't want you to _ever_ feel embarrassed or afraid to talk to me about this kind of stuff. Because I am here for you, however you need me to be, okay? Always."

Hope stares at him, eyes wide and shimmering, at a complete loss for words after his speech. Though she tended to conceal it fairly well, Hope had always struggled with insecurities in one way or another. In spite being the 'all powerful tribrid', she was nevertheless different than the rest of the supernaturals. A freak. A mistake. Always feeling out of place in this world. Never fully accepted amongst any of the groups. And the fact that she was a Mikaelson, well, that certainly didn't help the way people saw her either.

So to have someone say that they accepted her so wholeheartedly like Landon just had, for all her baggage and flaws, meant more than she could ever express. Her heart ached in the best way possible, full to the brim with love for this boy. Her insecurities would not magically disappear overnight obviously. No, that was a long and arduous battle one must fight alone. But to have someone by her side in that struggle did make it easier.

Hope leans forward and kisses him, knowing words could never truly convey what she feels in this moment. What she feels for him. She hopes that he can feel it too.

When their lips finally part, lungs in need of air, Hope exhales a tired, but content sigh. Emotionally exhausted, she settles back against the pillow and he moves to sit next to her. She snuggles into his side, resting her head against his shoulder, finding comfort in the closeness. Wrapping an arm around her back, he traces delicate circles down her shoulder.

"For the record, I’m not exactly looking forward to taking off my shirt either.” Landon admits, as he leans back against the headboard.

Hope tips her head up to look at him. “Why? You’re in great shape.”

The corners of his lips twitch up at the compliment. “That’s far from true, but I appreciate you thinking that.”

He exhales a small sigh and shakes his head. “No. But, uh- In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a bit...” He awkwardly begins to clear his throat, glancing away a moment before timidly meeting her eyes. “Hairy.” He reveals, chewing anxiously at his lower lip.

For a brief moment, she thinks he might be making a self deprecating joke, his usual go to for lightening the mood. But then she notices the traces of genuine vulnerability in his features, a quiet shame that sits just below the surface. Her mind suddenly begins to realize a pattern she hadn’t been aware of before.

“Is that why you never take your shirt off in the pool?" Hope knew he couldn’t swim, but on occasion, when the blistering Virginia heat got to be too much, he’d take a dip in the shallow end. Unlike the rest of the guys though, Landon always remained clothed.

His hand rubs at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Uh, back at my old school, I got teased about it every time I had to change for gym class. Earning me the ever so clever nickname: Landon Furry." He rolls his eyes. "Eventually I just started ditching gym so I could avoid it.” No real loss there, it also meant Connor would have less chances of nailing him in the back of the head with a football.

“The girls weren’t any better about it.” He goes on to explain. “Any time I ever wore a shirt where the neckline was a little low, they would come up and tell me how gross it was. _‘Ew! Cover up. No one wants to see that.’_ ” Landon recites, doing his best to hide the hurt that threatens to creep into his voice. He shifts uncomfortably at the memory, self consciously pulling up the collar of his shirt.

Hope reaches for his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, bringing him out of the painful memories replaying in his mind. His face reddens and he’s overcome with a wave of embarrassment.

"Sorry, that's uh- that’s not the same thing at all. I- I don’t know why I even brought it up.” He stammers out, feeling flustered and awfully exposed. He'd hoped to make her feel less alone in her insecurities, but instead, he just feels like an idiot for even comparing the two.

He can't quite bring himself to look at her now, afraid he might see the hints of disgust on her face at the mental image she was no doubt conjuring up. Had he really been naive enough to think it wouldn't bother her? That it wouldn't turn her off like it had every other girl?

"Landon..." Hope says softly, causing him to reluctantly glance over at her. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

He really knew he should be taking his own advice here, but how can he when he's constantly aware that she could do way better than him? Someone stronger. Smarter. Better looking. Someone who wasn’t the weird love child of a sentient mud monster. It was only a matter of time before she woke up one day and realized it too.

And he certainly wasn't helping himself right now. Getting upset over something as trivial as this. He was a guy. Guys weren't supposed to get bothered by this kind of stuff, and if they did, they sure as hell weren't supposed to show it. At least, that's what he's always been told. Growing up, he had a foster dad that whenever he cried, used to, as the man called it: 'beat the feelings out of him.'

"God, I'm pathetic." He mutters instinctively, momentarily forgetting she's there.

"Hey," Hope sits up so that she can look at him better, stern expression on her face. "Don't say that, don't you dare say that. You have an amazing heart, Landon Kirby. You lift people up when they've forgotten how to believe in themselves, and your always willing to help those who need it. You've got one of the kindest souls of anyone I've ever met, and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend."

Landon swallows hard, heavy emotions getting caught up in his throat. He doesn't know how she does it, makes everything seem okay. Makes him not feel like the broken mess he thinks he is. He honestly doesn't understand what he did to deserve her, how he got so lucky.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be making you feel better here, not the other way around. Remember?" He jokes with a half smile, in an effort to deflect from the vulnerability currently threatening to overwhelm him. "But... Thank you." He adds genuinely, voice quiet as he squeezes her hand.

"It's hard sometimes, to keep it all in." Hope admits, settling back into the pillows again. She was known to do quite a bit of that herself, which usually tended to lead to her magic going on the fritz. "Sometimes talking about it helps to lighten the load though." She adds, giving him a look as if to silently ask if he has more he wants to say, letting him know in her own way that this is a safe space if he needs it.

Landon hesitates some, not really used to having such a thing. As he internally debates whether or not to further impose on her kindness, he becomes astutely aware of the quiet that's overtaken the room, and he can't help but feel a desperate need to fill the silence by any means necessary. Nervousness has always made him chatty.

"You know... I uh, tried shaving it one time, a couple years back, so that they'd lay off. It was a complete disaster." Landon divulges, as he tries to inject some levity into his voice to lighten the mood, but it feels forced. "Accidentally cut myself so many times it looked like I was mauled by an angry raccoon.” He let’s out a small laugh, but it’s a hollow one. He’d only learned after the fact that electric clippers probably would’ve been the better way to go about it, as opposed to a razor. Truth be told, he nicked himself pretty bad in one or two places, but luckily none of them left behind a permanent mark. He already had a smattering of scars across his body as it was, from being on the receiving end of abusive foster parents. But that was a whole different can of worms. Another reason for him to feel like damaged goods.

“I get that. The first time someone said something about my weight, I went on a diet. And by went on a diet, I mean starved myself.” Hope confesses quietly as she stares down at her hands, missing the sight of complete heartbreak on Landon’s face at the revelation. She's never told anyone that before, except for her mom. But that was because her mother had found out about it on her own, and boy was she mad. They had a really good talk about it though, helped Hope to realize some things about how she looked at herself.

Landon's astonished by how casually she admits to that, as if it's normal. But in a way, isn't it? Don't thousand of people do the same thing? It makes him angry that someone could say something so awful, make her feel so bad about herself to the point where she was essentially hurting herself. All because they thought she should look like something else. He honestly can't believe how anyone could possibly think that she wasn't absolutely gorgeous the way she was.

Pulling her closer to him, he shuts his eyes as he presses a gentle kiss atop her head, seeking to offer her any comfort he can. "I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that." He murmurs quietly against her soft auburn hair, eliciting a small, appreciative hum in return.

Hope then sighs, carelessly fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “I um, I lost a couple pounds, but I didn’t feel any better about myself. If anything, I felt worse.” She frowns.

“It never does, does it?" Landon questions dejectedly. "Make you feel better, I mean. Because we're doing these things to make them happy, not ourselves.”

She shakes her head in agreement. "No, it really doesn't. I know better now, but it’s still hard sometimes."

After a moment of quiet contemplation on the matter, Hope let’s out a frustrated growl as she throws her head back. Sitting up with a huff, she lets her feet carry her out of bed to pace the room, seeking to displace the pent up energy building in her chest. "Why do we let them have so much power over us!?" She questions aloud. "How we feel!?"

She hates it. Hates how it still manages to get to her at times, and that she can't seem to turn it off. She's stronger than this, isn't she? Why can't she just defeat this bothersome feeling?

Landon shrugs helplessly, moving to come join her. “Because we’re only human? Well-“ He begins to correct himself. “Technically we’re not, but you know what I mean.”

Hope chuckles faintly as she nods, understanding what he means. Though she hates to admit it, it didn't matter what species you were, insecurities plagued everyone. The fickle emotion spared no group, in spite how much she wishes it did.

Stepping forward to wrap his arms around her, an instant feeling of ease washes over her, draining her of the residual anger she felt. "It just sucks sometimes." She mumbles glumly into his chest, pounding her fist softly against it as she feels him bob his head in concurrence.

"People suck." Her boyfriend reminds her, bringing back old memories of that night from the motel. "People suck." She echoes in return, just as she did before, an amused smile on her face as she hugs him tighter.

They stay like that for a little while, just enjoying the feel of being in the other's arms, before Hope decides to speak up with a question. "Landon?" She calls out softly, shyly glancing up at him. "Do you... still wanna pick up where we left off earlier?"

It takes him a moment, but then his mouth falls open as he realizes what she means by that. "You mean, when we were about to um-" His cheeks flush as he tries to get out the next part, but luckily Hope comes to his rescue and confirms his suspicions. "Yeah, that."

"Are you sure?" Landon asks, pulling back so he can properly see her face. He doesn't want to push her into anything she's not ready for, especially after he knew how vulnerable she was feeling before. He would never take advantage of that.

Hope's reply comes in the form of her lifting up one hand, and flicking her wrist, causing a clicking sound to fill the air as the bedroom door locks into place. Nodding firmly, she smiles at him. "Sometimes you have to be brave enough to be imperfect with people, even if it's scary. Right? Well I want to be imperfect with you, Landon Kirby."

He can't help but be momentarily stunned at first, but then his lips turn upward into an elated smile that spreads across his entire face, and he rests his forehead against her. "I wanna be imperfect with you too, Hope Mikaelson."

Grinning, she feverishly pulls his face towards her, lips crashing together like cymbals, and they clumsily stumble back over towards the bed. Landing atop the mattress with an awkward thud, they both break out into a short fit of laughter as they move to reposition themselves.

Catching their breath, Landon stares down at Hope and gently brushes a strand of hair out of her face, thumb caressing her cheek. "I love you." He whispers softly.

“I know.” She smirks teasingly, and at first Landon doesn’t think too much of her response. But then, that all too familiar movie line clicks in his mind, and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Was this strictly a coincidence, or had she perhaps...?

“Wait, hold on. Did you just-“  
  
“Make a Star Wars reference?” She interrupts smoothly, easily finishing the rest of his sentence for him. Tipping her head slightly, she shoots him a knowing smile. “Yep.” She replies, popping the ‘p’ for emphasis.  
  
His eyes widen at her confirmation, and a huge grin finds its way onto his face.  
  
“I honestly didn’t think it was possible for me to love you more than I already do, but apparently I was wrong.”

Letting out an amused giggle, Hope tugs him to her by grabbing the fabric of his shirt, and the young couple continues on with their previous endeavor. This time around, with no reservations.


End file.
